If your worst fears have been confirmed and you have discovered that your partner is cheating on you, you are probably wondering what to do now.
Let it out. Take some time to express your thoughts and emotions but not to your partner yet. Cry, scream, break a plate, and do whatever will make you feel better. No matter which you choose, do it on your own and in private.
Stop and think. Once you’ve expressed your feelings in private, sit down and give some thought to your situation. Did you see this coming? Were there signs along the way? Did the cheating happen for reasons that you can determine?
Consider the evidence. Now, think about what evidence you have. Is it impossible to deny? Could there be any chance that you have misunderstood the situation?
If you are certain that things are as they seem, you will need to make plans for your next steps.
Evaluate your past and future.. Time to reflect upon your relationship. You became a couple for a reason but are the things that brought you together still there in any way? Is this the first time this has happened or have you been through this in the past?
Consider what you had wanted for your future. If the infidelity had not occurred, where did you see your future together?
What do you want? Aside from hurting your partner in some comparable way, think about what you want to do next. If you have a family and a life together, considering what you want now and in the future is crucial.
Keep in mind that keeping your marriage together after an affair is possible. Getting past it will take work but it can be done. But, is that what you want?
Write it down. Writing things down offers several benefits for you. Moving through your thoughts and feelings as you put them on paper or a screen will help you sort them out. It will also allow you to approach a conversation more calmly and in a more prepared manner than if you just start talking.
Talk. Set a schedule where both of you can focus in an uninterrupted way as this conversation will not be easy. Know ahead of time that emotions will run high and you will have to do your best to stay calm and rational about things.
There is no way to determine how a conversation like this will go. It is possible that it may not go well at all. It is also likely that in order to get through things, you will need to seek the help of a professional counselor.
There are many couples who are able to work through cheating and come out stronger and closer.
If you have found yourself in this situation, try using the above tips as a guide to get started. Be open to seeking counseling if needed and be committed to making things work